Debate as Family Blocks Woman for 15 Years Over Something She Did as Child

A family shunning a young woman over something she did as a child has caused uproar online.

Sharing his dilemma with Reddit's True Off My Chest forum, user u/plaskettball explained that his dad had cut off his sister "Em" years ago. His father's side of the family also chose to cease contact, while the poster remains close with his relatives.

He said the estrangement was caused by "something [Em] did when we were kids," but no one will tell plaskettball what she did to deserve such treatment.

Now 26 years old, his sister is becoming "more and more" depressed by the situation.

"I feel like I'm betraying her while not wanting to lose the rest of my family," he wrote.

Reddit users had theories about why Em was cast out, and advised plaskettball to dig for more information.

'There's No Coming Back From Her Actions'

Plaskettball explained that his mom had primary custody during their childhood, but their dad and his family were heavily involved in their lives. However, by the time the poster was 10, their father was no longer spending time with his sister.

"Em and I didn't get along at that age so I didn't question it," he said.

Over the years, he discovered that Em had upset the adults on her father's side of the family. Em was struggling with emotional and behavioral issues at the time, so he assumed her attitude caused the estrangement.

"She got banned from all our aunts' and uncles' houses and our grandma told our dad to cut her off completely," he said.

His sister hasn't spoken to their dad or his family in 15 years. Em gets depressed whenever plaskettball spends time with them, especially during the holidays. He tried to arrange a reconciliation, but it backfired.

"[They said] there's no coming back from her actions," he continued.

When he asked Em what happened, she said it was "too humiliating" to share. He spent Easter Sunday with his dad's family, but left early to keep Em company. When he arrived home, he found his sister crying.

"The sound straight punched me in the gut," he said.

Although he doubts his sister's actions were worthy of estrangement, he can't bring himself to cut off his father's family as they've "always loved and supported me."

'Secrets Deeply Hurt Families'

The desire to resolve family disputes is understandable, and it's hard to watch loved ones hurting.

However, psychotherapist Ruth E. Freeman—founder and president at Peace at Home Parenting Solutions—said it was not healthy to carry the burdens of others.

Rather than try and resolve the issue, Freeman advised that plaskettball see a therapist to better understand his own feelings.

"A therapist will help him to see that he cannot rescue this situation," she told Newsweek. "It can help him to navigate the challenging path of loving both his family and his estranged sister, without trying to fix the mess made by parents and extended family members."

'She Isn't the Monster in This Story'

Hundreds of Redditors reacted to the post, which was upvoted more than 7,800 times. Many were disturbed by the family's actions, with snickerzK writing: "I can't imagine what a 10-year-old could do that would warrant a complete disowning by family."

"She was a child, and they ostracized her for life?" said CuriousPenguinSocks.

Many commenters believed Em had been abused by a family member and was spurned for speaking out.

"I can only come up with that they're protecting a predator," said lumpydukeofspacenuts.

Bird_brainiac said the dad and his family should apologize to Em for cutting her off, not the other way around.

"She needs to know that she isn't the monster in this story," she wrote.

"My advice is that you force your dad to tell you. [...] Fight for her."

Newsweek reached out to u/plaskettball for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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